My husband actually sent me the link to this article last week, and I'm just getting around to blogging about it today.
Why moms get jealous when dads bond with kids
Now first let me say that no... Richard was not saying I'm jealous of his relationship with the boys.
When I first became a mom, I felt that I had to be involved in every step and thing in Blake's life. I felt that I was the mom, and I knew best. I quickly realized that Richard was fantastic with Blake and letting him take over some of the parenting made me a better parent. I had to realize that my way may work for me, but it may not work for Richard. As it mentions in the article "Trouble is, 'the more we control how dads do things, the less involved they want to be,'"and " 'I had to let go and let them have their own relationship -- he's a competent man!'"
In stepping back and letting Richard parent the boys in his own way, I realized that this provided the boys balance and allowed the boys to create different relationships with each of us, and in different ways. Richard and I have some set things that we do similarly... we have agreed on schedules, discipline techniques and some "wordage" we use with the boys. But, other than that Richard does things very differently from me, and that is fine!
I as a mother had to realize that Father can also know best. I am in no terms jealous of my sons' relationships with their father or his relationship with them. I realize that Richard is a lot more playful with the boys and enjoys the wild times. I also can be playful, but in different ways. But, I get to spend more time with the boys, being a stay-at-home mom, and I want the boys to have fun with Richard in the short time they have together each day. I want the boys to have a balanced life and their varied relationships with Richard and I will support this.
If I can suggest one thing to parents, parent your child in the way that is comfortable for you. Find a balance between the two parenting styles for the major "issues" whatever they are for your family. And everything else is just letting each parent be themselves with the children. Step back and watch your spouse and see what you can learn by watching the interactions between your children and your spouse. What can you learn about your own parenting from watching them interact?
Read the article and let me know what you think... are you jealous? controlling? laid back? Anything you want to change about your interactions?
Hug your spouse tonight and your kiddos and encourage these bonds!