Richard and I were having a conversation today about things that are going on at the house, with the boys and other things. I said something to the effect of thanks for letting me vent about all this now, don't worry it will all be fine. (I always tell him "don't worry about me... I'll be fine... I always am!") I know it is hard for Richard to deal with the stress of work and then come home and have to help deal with all the stuff here too. I know he wishes he could do more when things are tough, but I don't expect him to be able to solve the problems, and yes he knows that too. I often say to him sorry you get stress times two and he says to me... you are dealing with all this too. I often say... yep it's my job.
Richard and I had decided shortly after getting married that when we had children I would stay home and care for them. This was something that we both wanted and luckily we can do it with Richard's salary and a bit of scrimping. But, there is also the understanding that when Colby is in kindergarten I will go back to work.
I do look at staying home with the boys as my job. I believe that I am their first teacher on so many levels. That is why I consider myself a stay-at-home mom. I focus my energy on my boys and put housework in when I find time. My house is clean, not spotless... not perfect, it's lived in! I want my son's to grow up knowing how to clean up and see that a clean house is important, but I do not focus on cleaning. They see me do laundry, they see me sweep and vacuum and occasionally mop the floors. They help pick up their toys and put the clothes in the laundry.
I guess I look at cleaning the same way I did when I worked... And I guess I look at it that way because in some ways I still work, just at home.