Well this first week home alone with my two guys is almost done (and yes I hate to jinx it), but it has gotten better as the week went on. I guess a lot of that is I feel like I'm finding my groove. Yes, I'm still using the tv more than I'd like, but right now it is what works for me to nurse Colby (who nurses for 20-40 min at a time and goes anywhere from 1-4 hours between feedings). Would I like to figure out a schedule.... absolutely!, but it's not going to happen just yet.
I have to remind myself that Colby is only 22 days old, he doesn't understand that mommy needs a routine.
Blake and I have worked out a few kinks and there are still some rough patches, but I don't feel as overwhelmed. Yes, it is hard when Blake starts misbehaving while I'm nursing. Yes, it is hard when both boys are fussy at the same time. Yes, it is hard to explain to Blake why Colby can have a pacifier in the living room and he can't (Blake's pacifier is limited to his bedroom).
But, at the same time I feel more myself. I feel calmer. I feel like... hey maybe, just maybe I can do this!