All of me, some of me, none of me

I read on a blog a while ago something about "all of me, some of me, none of me" It reference the attention you give your children. This is something I've struggled with since my boys were little and now it's even harder.

All of me is when you give the children your undivided attention. Some of me is when you could be doing something in the same room or with one child but not both, but they know they can get your attention when they need it. None of me is when they do their own thing and you do your own thing.

When the boys were little my none of me time was usually nap and bedtimes. As they got a little older I could squeeze in some during tv time occasionally. But now that I go to the gym I really enjoy my none of me time. I like to know they are taken care of and having fun and I can in essence escape into my own head. I can get a good sweat on and at the same time just be Lori. I am also working on getting them to give me time at home too. Today I had them playing outside while I mopped the floor. I wanted them to play together without me and knew if they saw I was "busy" they'd be a bit more willing. I will conitnue to work on this as our days cool down and we will soon be able to have the slider open between the porch and the house.

The some of me time is still challenging, but we are getting better at this too. This often again is me cleaning or making dinner. Today we didn't put the tv on after we got back from the gym. So they had some tv time in the morning but not the rest of the day. They found lots of other things to do together which always makes me happy. I love that they can play together and don't always need me to facilitate the play anymore.

All of me time has never been hard. It is always the trying to divide the all of me between both boys and giving each one some time alone with mommy. This will come more with time I know.

I like that as they get older it is so much easier to feel more "me". To know that I can be mommy and yet have moments that I know I'm Lori. To feel that I can do things with them and apart from them and not feel guilty one way or the other. I love my boys with all my heart, I'd move mountains for them, but I also need to keep in touch with who I am... who I can be.

I hope you find time each day to have a bit of "none of me" time... it is a salvation on those crazy days.

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Today's goals:
-- go to the Y [check... I tried a new class today (Basic Fitness a combo of cardio and weights) that I really enjoyed... going to have to add this to my list!]
-- go to the grocery store [check, the boys did a great job in the store today which made life so muchhhhh better]
-- bake cookies (Blake asked to do this) [check we made sugar cookies with Cars sprinkles]
-- play outside with the boys [I did go outside with them, but I didn't play with them I brought my book out while they played]
-- work on BJ's list [oops forgot to do this, but I'm not going tomorrow so I have time]
-- make quesadillas for dinner [check!]

Tomorrow's goals:
-- go to the Y for pilates and "Colby's class"
-- lots of laundry!
-- work on BJ's list?
-- go to the Hallmark store
-- enjoy some time with Colby

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7 comments:

  1. Lily used to get a lot of "none of me" or "some of me" while I was in school - I was very preoccupied with studying, careplans, and just trying stay caught up. Now that I've graduated, I'm increasing my "all of me" and trying to take advantage of the "none of me" for myself (like blogging!) :)

    That's so great about the Y! Seems like you're really enjoying all the new classes!

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  2. It's such a tough thing to balance. Even though Avery is young I still try to give a little of all of them. Like you said, the none of me is at nap time, even if she doesn't sleep right away or wakes up to soon, I let her quietly pay in her crib. Each morning right after she wakes up and after each nap, I try to give her "some of me" time. After about 20 or 30 minutes then I give her "all of me" time. I think it's so important that they learn to entertain themselves. I don't want her to rely on me all the time to play with her but I want her to know that I am there if she needs or wants me.

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  3. You really have me thinking, Lori!

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  4. I read this on a blog too and it is a struggle for me as well. I love my "me-time" at the gym too. It has helped me be a better mom. I struggle with the balance as well. I have done pretty well today though I must say. I am proud of myself. We did a craft and baked cookies (All of me), ran an errand (some of me) and now Ryan is currently playing choo choos alone in his room (none of me). I am always trying to balance it out without feeling guilty. Mom guilt is the worst! You're right about them getting older and it getting easier to me yourself. I am finding this out now that Ryan is almost 2 1/2. It's a great feeling to know that Kelly is coming back into existence!

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  5. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have tons of none of me time now that my boys are school age and while I loved the time they were little and needed all of me, the change has been wonderful. Life is full of stages and the key is to cherish the present because it will not be the future!

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  6. That's a great way to describe time with your kids! I do get a bit of none of me time which is great. But mostly, I would say I get a lot of some of me time. There are so many things to get done, but I'm always there for them whenever they need me!

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  7. this couldn't have come at a better time! i really do need more "none of me time" hopefully as quinn gets older it will happen...right?

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