Children's tranlation program needed?

I know so many of you can relate to this feeling. I say something to the boys and they totally ignore me or look at me like I have five heads. I looked at Richard the other day and said "am I speaking a different language?" Then I said, or do they just not understand English anymore?

I often feel like this when I give them directions. Can someone give me the link to the children's translator? When they were little I always wondered what they were trying to say when they babbled. Maybe if I had figured that out I'd know what language they understand? Maybe I'd know how to get their attention and get them to answer me. I mean I know their names, ummm I gave it to them. So why when I say their names do they not understand them? I refuse to think that they choose to ignore me that much.

I know there has to be some kind of translation program or headphones for them or something that will help them listen and understand what I am saying. So who has the magical answer to this question???