Not everyone needs a trophy

You can't always win, and you won't always lose!  This is something I say to my sons all the time.  I don't lose on purpose.  I'm not over competitive, but I want the boys to learn to be a good loser.  So many times children only get to win.  They get a trophy for participating.  They say everyone is a winner, but that isn't how life works.  My children learn about sportsmanship. They learn to be a good winner and a good loser.  They learn that they can be happy when they earn the win (in a game, a sport, in life... doesn't matter).  They also know what it feels like to be on the other side of that.  To see the over celebration.  To feel the disappointment.  To feel like they will never win.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again!  This is the other mantra my sons learned early.  It applies to everything from falling off your bike, to getting a bad grade on a test, to losing a game.  Winners never quit and quitters never win.  (Yep, I love my expressions)  When we tell children that everyone is a winner, that everyone deserves a trophy... they don't know how to handle defeat.  They don't know how to handle a loss.

Are we creating a generation of quitters?  It's too hard... I can't do it the first time so I quit.  Are we raising a generation of children who feel they deserve to win even when they don't?  Is this what we want for their future?

So the next time your child loses, don't reward them... remind them it's ok to lose.  Help them find motivation to try again and maybe next time they won't win, but I bet they will do better!  Andddd be proud of themselves for trying again.